I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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