I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just pee around me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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