Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
