don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
