so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
