just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
