I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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