and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
