I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
