she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
