i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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