Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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