Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
