WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
