You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
