Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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