Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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