I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
