she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i came on her dog
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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