This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
