2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
