Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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