Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
