After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
