i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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