Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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