It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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