so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize
