I accidentally had phone sex last night
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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