I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
