All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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