I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
