i just wanna soil my oats bro
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
