If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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