Where is the hickey?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
