I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
