I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
