Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
