You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
