You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
