i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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