My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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