You just made me feel so damn special
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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