so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
