he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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