I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Bring me that man meat
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