So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
