i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm really busy with my period
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