What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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