Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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