You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
